Retirement
by Lmaooooonade
Summary: Dr. Spencer Reid is taking an early retirement from the bureau to be with his lover David Rossi, but has neglected to tell his friends until the last minute! How will his friends take it when he tells him it's its last day? How will Spencer and Dave spend their retirement together? Only time will tell! Slow burn, loose AU, future NSFW? Will produce more if received well!
1. Chapter 1: The Library

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 1: The Library

Spencer laid back in a cushy, over-sized leather arm chair, melting his brain into a novel with a nice coffee on a hand-carved side table. His long, skinny legs at rest on an equally cushy ottoman, the same hazelnut color of the chair he was in. The library in Dave's mansion was everything he could ever want, and he was glad that soon, he could be there whenever he wanted.

He could hear the sounds of a vintage record drifting around the library, Dave must have put on a record not too long ago because if he was remembering right, which he was, this was only the second song on the record. Upon looking up from the book he could see him approaching, a nice scotch glass in hand that he'd set on the table next to Spencer's coffee.

"You aren't as far into that book as I thought you'd be, Spencer." Dave said as he sat in the second leather chair on the other side of the side table. "Something on your mind?"

"No, I'm just... I'm just _distracted_." Spencer admitted.

"You're distracted? I believe that means there's something on your mind, please share."

"I'm just trying to figure out how to tell everyone I'm leaving the bureau." Spencer blurted, following the statement with a groan.  
"Ah, I thought that might be the problem." Dave said, taking a sip of his drink before setting it next to the coffee once more.

"I just. I don't want them to feel like I'm giving up!" Spencer I want to be here with you, I don't want anymore risk... You re-retired, and I can't help but want to be here with you." Spencer mumbled as he closed the book, setting it down on the arm of the chair. "I'm not giving up I just don't want it to be how it is, worrying if next time I get shot I'm going to bleed out, and if this time we go somewhere is going to be that next time."  
"Relax! I know you're not giving up, you know you're not giving up, so why don't you just tell them the-"  
"The Truth. Yeah, I considered." 

Dave sighed and got up from his chair, Spencer had retracted his legs and sat up, eyes darting nervously, unsure if this was going to be a lecture or something else. Dave sat on the ottoman to look at his lover in the face. "Spencer," He said, his voice a soft tone, his arm extended to rest a hand on the genius's leg. "Spencer, they know about us, you can tell them why you're leaving. Most everyone from our original group has left, what's holding you back?" he asked, his eyes searching Spencer's face, he knew what that expression was, anxiety, he felt bad.

"Dave, I ... It's JJ and Garcia. They'll miss me."

"But they'll _live_ , and they'll probably call you to consult on the cases anyways. Back when I left they were always calling me to consult, no doubt they'll do the same to you." Dave said, a smile working it's way across his lips. "They'll still need that big brain from time to time." He said, patting Spencer's knee.

"My brain actually isn't bigger, it's average sized, I've had scans you kn-" Spencer began.

" _Spencer_ , you know what I meant." Dave interrupted, he wasn't in the mood for a famous Dr. Reid Ramble.  
"Y-yeah sorry, I guess I just- I took it literally." Spencer said.

"No harm, Spencer." Dave said, as he stood, holding his hand out for him. "Come." he cooed, a romantic song starting. Spencer blushed and grabbed his hand, raising to be met with a warm arm around his waist, pulling him to a clear area of the library, closer to the record player.

Dave held him close and started swaying with him, having moved his hand from Spencer's, to put it on the back of his head and bringing it on his shoulder. "Don't think for a minute, just be like this with me. Please." Dave whispered. Spencer gave in and closed his eyes, moving his feet lightly to the movements Dave made, his skinny arms wrapping around Dave's thick torso.

"My coffee will get cold, Dave." Spencer murmured, his eyes remaining closed as he spoke.  
"I'll make you another one in the morning. It's late Spencer, I don't know why you made it." Dave sighed.

"I was going to read." Spencer said plainly.

"You have to work in a few hours, you don't need it." Dave stated, playing with the loose curls and waves of Spencer's hair.

"True." Spencer replied, shaking his head a little, taking in the scent that was David Rossi; something strong and earthy, a strong foreign cologne, almost certainly having been imported from Italy. "I'm assuming this is your way of calming me down for bed?" he asked.

"Your assumption would be correct, Spencer. Can't fool you." Dave chuckled. "I'll go shut the record player off, and take care of the cups and the lights. And when I come back up, I want you to be in our room, at least in your pajamas, okay?"

Spencer nodded, and slowly let Dave go, silently retreating back to their shared room.

Spencer slowly got undressed, putting his clothes into a hamper designated for his clothes, the lanky doctor then clothed himself in a set of dark green pajamas and wandered slowly to the king sized bed, his busy mind running through how he'd tell his last two friends he was leaving the bureau, that tomorrow would be his final day. The director already knew, but he'd put off telling his friends, and tomorrow he'd have to, and to be honest he was surprised Penelope hadn't found it out yet with all the snooping she was capable of.

But his mind quickly left that topic as he heard Dave enter the room, turning around to see him.  
"At least you're in pajamas like I hoped." Dave stated, making his way to a large, ornate dresser

"I'm tired, David, I never really got to drink any of that coffee." Spencer mumbled as he pulled back the plush covers and rested himself beneath the soft sheets, a yawn escaping his mouth. Dave changed and made his way to the bed too, taking up residence in the sheets next to Spencer.

"I know, I'm sorry." he apologized as he laid back, clapping his hands together quickly to shut the lights off. Spencer quickly laid on his side and made his back available to Dave, who quickly moved in as close as he could and draped an arm and the blankets over him.  
"Try to get some rest, Spencer." Dave said, giving his young love a gentle pat.

"I love you." Spencer said as his eyes closed, sleep almost immediately whisking him away.

"I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2: Bedtime Poems

**Author's Note (A/N) at the bottom!**

 **Chapter Summary:** _Telling his friend's about his departure hadn't been easy, he never expected it to be. Emotions ran a little too high, and Spencer would regret having put it off until last minute as he did. Dave understood that over-talking it wouldn't help Spencer, but he had a plan to redeem the day for him. Will it work? God, he hoped so._

Spencer sat in Dave's car in silence looking out the window, things hadn't gone as well as he had hoped. He sat there with his arms folded, remembering the look of heartbreak on Garcia's face. JJ had been more reasonable, because of course they'd still see each other, he was still Henry's god father of course.

"I take it things didn't go so well, Spencer?" Dave asked, keeping his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel, aware that touched was the last thing Spencer wanted to be right now. "No, it didn't." Spencer admitted through gritted teeth, he was more than a little upset. "I shouldn't have put it off." He grumbled, turning his attention to Dave.

"Maybe you shouldn't have, but there is nothing you can do about this right now." Dave said calmly, reaching a hand over to his knee, rubbing it gently with his thumb. "They will come around, and that's fine, but it might be a while, so don't worry too much."

"Garcia cried. She almost hit me, too." Spencer said, sighing as he melted into the leather seats.

"She's very emotional, Spencer." Dave said as he turned down a side road, the long way was the best way to go, who knew that it could be so beautiful in this area. "But she does have the right to be upset, you did put it off for a long time." he added, a gentle, sympathetic tone to his voice. "You'll see them again, and hear them again. I'm sure in time they'll understand." The rest of the ride was silent, Spencer had stopped responding, and Dave wasn't going to press the matter any further, Spencer just needed some rest, and he'd be able to get plenty now since he was taking an early retirement. "Give Garcia two weeks, She'll probably call you wanting to meet up for coffee or something, I'm sure of it."

As they wandered in the house Spencer could smell food, glorious food. "Indian food?" he asked, Dave nodded "I asked my cleaner for a favor before she left for some extra money. " Dave said, walking to the kitchen, he could almost hear Spencer's face light up as he rushed behind him. "You... You got this for me?" Spencer asked, seeing the bag on the table, he could smell his favorite. Of course a lover like David Rossi would indulge him, his taste buds watered a little "Us, I got this for us. There's some for me in there too." Dave chuckled, looking Spencer over, his eyes wide with child-like happiness. "Wash your hands and I'll set everything out, huh?"

"Yeah, you bet. I'll uh, I'll be right back, Dave." Spencer said, leaning in to peck his cheek gently before shuffling off to the bathroom. Dave watched him go, shaking his head slightly as a laugh escaped him, he knew hat this was a good way to make his day a little better after the earlier upset.

In the bathroom Spencer stared in the mirror as he washed his hands, he looked tired, why did he look so tired? Was it the stress from the job or the stress of retiring? No. No it couldn't be from retiring, not at all. That couldn't be possible. Retirement was supposed to be relaxing, but this _was_ an early retirement after all. What would he do with the rest of his life? Maybe he could teach, no he didn't quite have the charisma to do that, then again him rambling would actually be a good thing in that job.

No, no job. He was retiring to spend time with David, sure he was going to consult on cases if they really needed him, but he was going to relax and travel, and just be. And he'd do it with Dave. That's what he would do. Spencer turned his attention back to his hands, they were turning pink from the hot water and scrubbing. He removed his hands from the water and shook them over the sink, turned the faucet off and dried his hands on a soft towel that hung nearby. His eyes were drawn back to his reflection in the mirror. He looked so disheveled, did he always look this way? And why did he start caring now? Nonsense, he thought as he fixed the muted brown cardigan he was wearing, his eyes drifted to his hair, messy as usual. "Really?" He mumbled, reaching his hands up to fix it, smoothing the loose hairs back to the rest of his wavy tresses. "I'm a mess." Spencer sighed, shaking his head as he turned to open the door, flipping the light switch off as he exited the bathroom. He may be messy, but Dave loved him as he was, and that was enough for him.

Dave had plated their meals, disposing of the containers in the garbage and grabbing them some real silverware, his usual take out meal of choice was typically from a little Italian joint in the city that let him get anything at nearly any time, it helped to have some connections. "Fall in?" he asked as he heard Spencer's foot steps approaching, they stopped suddenly. "Fall in? I'm a little too big to fall into the toilet. You know about two-hundred and thirty five thousand people over the age of fifteen visit the emergency room because of an injury sustained in the bathroom yearly? And actually about fourteen percent of those people are hospitalized for it? Most of them are over the age of eighty five, and even without that it's mostly women, so me having a toilet accident is incredibly unlikely, someone your age is more likely to-"

"Spencer, it was a joke." David interrupted, sipping a glass of water. "Oh... It wasn't really funny." Spencer replied, taking his seat at the table across from David. "Ah, thank you for dinner, Dave." he said as he settled.  
"Of course, Spencer." Dave said, a smile on his face as he watched excitement dance in Spencer's eyes. Indian food sure was a favorite.

They ate mostly in silence, Spencer paying more attention to his food than anything else, and Dave paying more attention to Spencer than to his food. "How is it?" Dave asked, taking a bite of his own, the flavors and textures playing on his tongue. "Amazing." Spencer said. "Chicken tandoori is my favorite." he added, looking up from his food to Dave's. "What did you get?" he asked, curious as to what his lover could be enjoying. "Pineapple curry." Dave said, taking in another forkful as he watched Spencer lick his lips only to dab them with a napkin next. That's interesting." Spencer said, eyeballing it. David sighed and got a nice amount on his fork. "Say 'Ah'." He said, extending the fork to Spencer. "Oh, ah?" he said, sampling the pineapple curry from Dave's portion. "Mmmm. That's actually really good. Do you wanna try some of my chicken tandoori? Chicken is one of the healthiest meats being low in fat and high in protein. Good for energy." He explained, sticking out a forkful of it to Dave, who looked at it hesitantly. "I'm more of a pork and beef guy, myself." Dave said, taking a bite of the food regardless. "Now that's not bad either. I like the mouth feel." He said as he pulled back. Spencer smiled and continued to eat his own food.

After dinner the two cleaned up, putting the dishes in the dishwasher after a quick rinse and wiping down the table, a ritual Spencer insisted they do, because dished left in the sink are more likely to attract insects and you wouldn't believe the amount of bacteria that resided on the surfaces you used three times daily. "Anything in specific you had in mind to do, Spencer?" Dave asked, raising a thick eyebrow at him. "Not really." Spencer answered. "But I _am_ kind of tired, and I know it's not that late, but I'd really like to lie down." He explained, the protein in that chicken was losing the energy battle from the heaviness of the amount he ate. It kind of sat heavy in his stomach, or was that the guilt he was feeling from earlier? Either way, he needed to lay down. "Eat too much?" Dave asked, watching his slender lover smoothing his clothes over his figure. "Possibly." Reid admitted, giving a small shrug. "Why don't you go grab a book from the library, you can read it to me." Dave said. "We'll have an early night, huh?"

"I like that idea, thank you Dave. I'll meet you in the bedroom?" Spencer asked, already headed to the library. "That's fine." Dave said, giving a shrug as he poured himself a nice drink, something nice and heavy, and on the rocks too.

As agreed on they met in the bedroom, Dave already dressed for bed, because he didn't plan on doing anything else that night. Spencer set the book on the nightstand as he changed too, Dave watched him as he settled into the bed, the pale skin that too often lurked beneath cardigans and dress shirts was amazingly beautiful. Dave could also swear that when the moonlight hit it right, it would glow. Spencer opted for a loose shirt and his boxers as he made his way to the bed, climbing in beside Dave. "I had to pick this." He said, revealing a book of poetry, remembering all the times his mother had opted to read poetry to him when he was younger. He felt that if he brought this into his current life, that perhaps his heart would find peace with the decision he had made, and sooner rather than later. Spencer read the poetry aloud well into the night, until both men became overly tired with heavy eyes that couldn't fight off sleep any longer. The book was remaindered to the night stand, as they made themselves comfortable under the sheets, Spencer opting to allow Dave to lay on his back as his thin body lay on it's side as close as possible to him, an arm draped over his love's chest. They both drifted into sweet, warm dreams on each other, and it was so right.

 **A/N:** _I really tried my best to write the confrontation I had planned for JJ and Garcia to have with Spencer over this, but it really messed with my pacing, and I couldn't seem to capture Penelope's frantic energy she gets when she's properly upset. I'll do my best with any future interactions including any other past member of the team, I have plans please be patient, I'm so sorry!_


	3. Chapter 3: The Fight

**A/N:** _I had to update the rating because of the language used in the latter half of this chapter. No smut yet, sorry! Additional A/N at the bottom!_

Spencer's first few months of retirement had been peaceful, he was spending as much time with Dave as he could, but of course Dave had his own things he liked to do separate from Spencer. That was fine, they couldn't be together every moment of every day, that was just impossible, but recently Dave seemed to be gone more. And for the past month Spencer had been getting agitated easily and for no real reason. Dave had noticed, but wasn't sure how to say anything about it to him, and he knew that sometimes the best thing was to let Spencer work it out himself and provide him with ample alone time.

Spencer was restless as he paced around the mansion, a book in hand and a pair of thick glasses resting on his nose. His fingers separating themselves from tracing a page on occasion to push the glasses up his nose by their bridge. He was walking through the house, and as he finished one book, he would pluck a new one off of another bookshelf from another room. He knew were all the bookshelves were, and he'd wander between the bedroom, the library, the study, the living room. It kept him busy. Spencer had managed to tie his long hair back with the only hair tie he happened to own, it was just long enough to be able to make a small pony tail. He was so into his current book, that he didn't hear Dave coming home. "Spencer?" Dave called out, taking his coat off and hanging it in the front closet. He heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and started that way. "Spencer?" he called again, seeing him round a corner and keep going. Dave sighed, he could see the book in front of his face. "I hate it when you do that." he mumbled, referring to the fact that he was going down stairs with his face in a book, one of these days that kid was going to trip up and get hurt. Dave followed after him, exhausted from the length of the game, but he caught up and grabbed Spencer's shoulder a little rougher than he would have normally done, which startled the boy horribly. Spencer jolted and the book flew from his hands, landing a few feet away as Spencer gave a sharp gasp and whipped himself around. His heart rate was akin to that of frightened bird, his eyes were wide and scared.

"Oh, God... Dave!" he said loudly a hand moving to his heart, the fast and steady thumping too much for him. "Sorry Spencer, I called out for you twice, you must have really been into that book" Dave said, it was the first time he'd seen Spencer in his glasses, causing his eyebrow to raise "I was... It's alright, though." Spencer said, noticing the expression on his lover's face. "I uh... I forgot to re-order my contacts, and they're being restocked currently, they're not available for a while, there was some kind of quality control issue last month, so I'm gonna wait it out for a while and use my glasses." he explained, using his fingers to push the bridge up once more. "How was- how was poker?" he asked, pulling him into a hug, burying his face in his shoulder to breathe his scent in. Dave hugged him back, running his hand up and down his spine gently. "Nice, maybe next time I'll have you come. They were all curious bout you, kept asking questions." Dave said. Something was wrong, and Dave wasn't sure why he was just now noticing it, but he could swear Spencer was skinnier than usual. He let him go and took a step back.

"Something wrong, Dave?" Spencer asked, going over to where the book had landed, and as he bent over to pick the book up Dave paid attention to how his clothes seemed looser on him, was he ill? Was he eating? Was he on Dilaudid again? "You've been different lately, Spencer. Is something wrong?" Dave asked, trying to keep a calm tone. Spencer picked the book up and turned to face Dave, his eyes looking at the book sadly, the toss had damaged the spine. "I always feel bad damaging a book. It's like damaging a whole world... That's what my mother would say anyways. I guess I believe it too, in a way." he said as he ran his finger over crumpling on the spine of the book. "That is not uh, not answering your question or your assumptions." he said gently, shaking his head. "I've been a little forgetful, the company that makes one of my mother's medications tanked, and her balance has been thrown off. And I've been thinking about her a lot more, she won't uh, she won't allow phone calls from anybody, she's been incredibly moody lately. I don't think I ate anything other than the meal we had this morning together." Spencer admitted as he started waking to the bookcase he was headed to, placing the the slightly damaged book on the shelf with the others. "And you've been gone a lot more recently, it's uh, a bit of an adjustment for me to be alone often again." He added. Dave sighed, he had a feeling his lack of presence was taking a toll on him, his suspicion was confirmed.

"Spencer, I'm so sorry, I had no idea." he said, going to him, putting an arm around him. "You need to eat right now." Dave said as he guided him towards the kitchen. "You can't keep forgetting to eat, you're skinny enough." he said, scolding him a little as he dug in the fridge, eggs, milk and a few fresh vegetables that had been laying around. The kid needed vitamins, because really, how many days had be forgotten meals, he didn't expect an answer for it. "I'm sorry I've been gone more. Between my publicist and standing plans I've forgotten to slow down. Next time, you can come play cards with me." Spencer just smiled at him, tickled by the offer. "Dave, please don't blame yourself, I should have told you." Spencer said as he watched Dave make an omelette big enough for the two of them, including even cheese. He knew how Spencer loved dairy. "Rounding out any nutritional values I may be lacking?" Spencer asked, watching him plate it. "No." Dave said. "You like dairy products, and I wasn't about to eat something with so many vegetables and no cheese." he admitted, grabbing them some forks, before setting the plate down in front of Spencer. "What do you want to drink?" he asked as Spencer started in on the food, separating a bit of it with his fork, blowing on it to cool it. "Milk is fine and you already have it out." he said, nodding towards the counter. "Done and done." Dave said, pouring two glasses for them before he finally sat down next to him.

The two ate in relative silence, Dave allowing Spencer to eat most of it, resigning himself to just a few bites, he wasn't hungry anyways. "Look, Spencer." Dave started, as he reached to hold his free hand. "I am sorry I neglected you. I shouldn't have." he admitted, giving his hand a little squeeze. "Dave..." Spencer said. "No Spence, listen for a minute, I screwed up, I'm sorry for what I did I-" He started, but Spencer put a finger up to his lips "Dave hush. Please. I don't want an apology, and actually, I don't need one. " My Spencer explained and he scooched closer to him, placing a kiss on his cheek, starting his voice in a low whisper. "I'm lonely and I just need some love, Dave." Spencer said. "Okay baby? Please let's just go to bed? None of the help comes in tomorrow so we don't have to eat breakfast by ten. Let's just go up, at least get a little feeling up in, and we can sleep in, maybe- maybe hop down to a cafe or a little diner in town and take a drive, okay? You and me, an-and the open road and we just go. We just go, alright?" Spencer asked, he was moving his hands to hold Dave's petting them gently and moving to tug slightly at his shirt, and as much as Dave hated to admit it Spencer sounded a little out of his mind, and a little too desperate. What was he hiding? "Alright Spencer." Dave said, getting up with him. "We'll put the dishes in the dish washer in the morning, let's just go on to bed." Spencer said, letting go of Dave to grab the plate, rushing to the sink to rinse it off. Dave watched him, shaking his head.

"Okay. I'll bite. What's wrong." Dave said firmly, crossing his arms, the young boy would never let that go down unless he he was sick, he would have rattled off some kind of statistic about how leaving it out would attract insects or something. Spencer stopped and set the dish down. "Mmm. Never date a profiler because you'll never be able to lie, now I understand why Will said that." Spencer mumbled before turning to Dave. "I haven't been having much sleep either, Dave." Spencer admitted, he rubbed his arm, the one Tobias Hankle had injected him in, and the one he continued to use when he adopted the habit. Dave noticed and his eyebrows raised in disbelief, and his jaw dropped too. "Oh Spence, no..." he started, reaching an arm out as he approached the slender man. "Oh God, Rossi! No! I'm not using!" Spencer scoffed, pulling away from him. "Spencer, your behavior and your body language said otherwise! Show me your damn arm!" Dave said loudly, grabbing his hand and hastily pushing up the long sleeve of the old teeshirt he was wearing. His arm was bare except for the old track marks and some new, raw skin that appeared to be from scratching, Spencer had turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut, a light whimper left his throat, shaky heavy breaths racked his body.

"Dave please!" Spencer whined, only to have the grip loosened. Spencer shook himself free of Dave and backed up, his breaths still heavy, hastily shoving the arm of the shirt back down. "God! Why is it every time I'm having problems people assume I'm using again?!' Spencer yelled. "I get it, I'm an addict, but you truly believe I'd allow myself to slip and lose everything?!" he hollered, his voice was pissed, Dave attempted to approach, reaching a hand out once more. "Spence, I-" he started, getting a hand on his shoulder. Spencer ripped himself away. "Don't touch me Rossi." Spencer said, his eyes wide with rage, nostrils flaring with every breath. "I'm sleeping in a guest room. Don't talk to me, don't touch me, and don't- Don't fucking follow me!" Spencer warned as he turned away, scurrying towards a guest bedroom on the first floor in a wing of the house opposite from where the main bedroom was. Dave groaned as he heard the door slam, why didn't he just put his trust in Spencer, why'd he have to jump the gun like that?

There wasn't time to think of it now, he just went through and shut the lights off around the house, making his way up to bed. But Dave was restless now too, he had fucked up. And he knew how horribly Spencer thought of him right now, and he just couldn't sleep. Meanwhile Spencer was in the guest bedroom downstairs, sobbing into a pillow and scratching his arm, his skin was crawling and the craving was driving him insane. It had sprung up from nowhere, out of the loneliness that crept in the dark and he was doing his best to distract himself in resistance, but still found himself taking ten or fifteen minutes here and there to alternate between scratching and rubbing at the old scars. "No, no no no no. I don't want it, Tobias no... T-Tobias please! No!" he whimpered, a flashback sending him back to the cabin of the cemetery as he drifted off to sleep. Tonight wouldn't be a sweet, imported Italian cologne scented dream. This would be a horrible, sweat, dirt and disgusting protection incense burning nightmare. One that would draw sweat from every possible pore, and plaster his long hair to his forehead. He would wake up screaming, but Dave wouldn't be there to hold him. Not this time.

 **A/N:** _I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it fluffy forever, so I figured I should give them some angst as soon as I could and get it out of the way. There will be a bit more in the next chapter, but I think as a reward for sticking by me, you will have deserved some smut, but at the very super least you'll have earned some heavy touching. Please give me some feedback to let me know if you'd like that, or if you think it'd be too soon._


	4. Chapter 4: Jason's Advice

A/N: Sorry this took so long to update? Life has been hell but I'm doing my best. This chapter was heavily inspired by a scene in Profiling 202 that I particularly loved, so I hope you like this.

It'd been two weeks since Dave and Spencer had fought, and Dave thought this was going to be a day or two of upset and then a beautiful reconciliation, and boy was he **_wrong_**. Spencer had been so upset by the argument, that two days after the incident Spencer had packed a few suit cases and said he was going out to Vegas to visit his mother, and left. He'd never specified how long he'd be gone, but Dave knew Spencer needed the time to himself, but still found himself worrying. He'd been too aggressive in his accusations and pushed Spencer so far away.

Dave honestly missed him so damn much that decided that he needed to do something about it. And since, for the moment, he was unable to talk to Spencer by traditional means, he'd settle for figuring it out himself. So this meant doing what he did best, cooking. He prepared himself to make his signature Carbonara, his grandmother's recipe, and began to recall the event in his head, flinching slightly as he remembered the harshness of all the words. Dave had to put himself on auto pilot to be able to continue cooking. Once he'd prepared food, he plated it and set the table, turning his back for a moment to pour himself and the empty place a drink. But throughout the meal, he couldn't seem to get a grasp on Spencer. Frustrated and upset after the meal Dave found himself pacing the house in a vain attempt to summon him out of thin air. It'd worked with every single unsub he'd ever had to face like that, so why couldn't he do it with Spencer?

Dave froze, that was his answer, Spencer wasn't an unsub, he hadn't done anything wrong, save for being unable to properly express himself. Dave made his way to a chess set in a study he shared with Spencer and begun to set the board. It was a special set, something of an anniversary present he'd gotten Spencer, the pieces were hand blown glass, one side black and the others a lovely frosted white. Dave poured himself a drink and begun the match, staring at the pieces before deciding a move. When his eyes looked up he wasn't greeted by Spencer, but by his old friend Jason Gideon who was sitting hunched over in a contemplative manner. "The kid is upset, can't blame him for that." Jason said, Dave sighed and nodded in agreement. "I know, I screwed up." he said as Jason made his move. "Yeah, but he's resilient, that beautiful mind is always going, you know." he added, rubbing his hands together. Dave nodded once more as he looked to his pieces. "I suppose I figured he'd be comfortable coming to me, rather than bottling it up like that." Dave explained and he made a move, only to have Jason take that piece in return.

"Yeah, I know. That accusation wasn't too great either, adding in the fact you haven't even checked in on him? Probably just stewing in it right now." Jason explained, pointing at him. "I know, in hindsight, my mind really shouldn't have jumped there, but he was just so... Suspect." Dave said, taking a drink. Jason rubbed his hands together once more and shrugged gently. "So, I'm Spencer. You accuse me of being back on Dilaudid." Jason started "I'm already emotional from feeling lonely, neglected. Not looking for a fight, just begging to go to bed with you, I'm tired." he stated, looking to Dave. "I know, but you're rail thin, look like you haven't eaten all day. I need you to eat so I pretty much demand it of you, cooking anyways... I know I just scared you, and you're vulnerable, more so than usual." Dave added. "Frightened like a bird." Jason said, "And you've been gone more, again lonely, expected to be with you more. Busy mind needs stimulation and lets face it, even to someone who can read that fast, books must get a tad boring eventually." he pointed out. Dave rubbed his chin and nodded.  
"And I'm worried with the behavior, it points to trying to hide something." Dave said, Jason shook his head. "Yeah, but I'm different, I'm hiding the craving that stems from loneliness and need for human interaction as a form of stimulation. I'm not hiding the act of doing drugs, but rather the want." he explained. "I reinforced a bad memory by thrusting it into the light..." Dave groaned, moving a piece. Jason made a quick move. "Check." he said. "Reinforced it in the worst way possible. It's already a source of shame and embarrassment, but someone I love making that accusation makes it even worse." Jason pointed out, rubbing his hands as Dave made his move. "Apologizing and giving you space is the best thing to do, but too much and it pushes you away even more, not enough and I could be smothering." he sighed. Jason made a final move and looked to him. "Call him, right now." he said. "Express love and care. Apologize." he explained. Dave wasted no time, standing up to go to his desk, grabbing the phone. He swallowed hard and dialed the number, the sound of ringing drowning out the heartbeat in his ears.

Spencer didn't even look at his phone before answering it, he just knew who it was. "What, David?." he said, he was still mad, but Dave knew the only way to make it better, was to be better. "I'm sorry, Spencer." he said softly. Spencer didn't say anything and Dave continued. "I know you expected more of me, and I'm sorry." Spencer just sighed and started on him. "That's not what matters, Dave. What matters is I was feeling alone, and I shouldn't have had to." he explained, shaking his head. "And on top of it, to be accused like that? What the hell was that?" he hissed, hearing a car door shut in the background of the call. Dave chose to ignore it and began to explain himself. "Spencer, I know. I feel awful about that... Accusing you like that wasn't fair. Especially when when you were already feeling vulnerable... It was an attack and I'm sorry." he said. "I know, I also should have apologized sooner, but I just couldn't... I couldn't find the words and I'm still learning." Dave added, groaning a little. "Look. I know it's not much, but the second you get home, I'll do whatever you want to make up for it. I know you're taking a little time in Las Vegas with your mother right now, and I understand, but when you get back, I swear we'll do whatever you want." he said. The air was dead silent for several moments, they felt like forever until he heard a trunk pop open. "Well, you can start right now by coming downstairs and helping me bring my things in." Spencer said before hanging up the phone, placing it back in his pocket.

Dave dropped his phone on his desk and quickly headed out of the shared study, and as he passed the chess set he could have sworn that he heard Gideon chuckle and say "Checkmate." As soon as Dave opened the door he saw Spencer leaning against his car, arms folded. He made his way over and embraced him puling him close. "I'm sorry." he said. "I'm so sorry." Spencer stayed quiet and unfolded his arms, wrapping them around Dave and squeezing him gently. "I know... I forgive you but... Please never accuse me of that again unless you have definitive proof." he said, pulling himself away to grab one of his suitcases. Dave nodded and grabbed the other one. "You got it kid." he said, Spencer just gave a little smile and sighed. "Can we go to bed? I didn't sleep on the flight." he explained, Dave just nodded. "Sure, laundry can be done in the morning." he said bringing in the suitcases and setting them on the floor as they got inside. Once they got to their bedroom they quickly changed and laid back in their bed, Spencer stretching out and letting his bones pop. Dave made himself comfortable and held and arm out for Spencer, who immediately rest his head on Dave's chest and curled up to him. Dave used his free arm to shut his lamp off and darken the room, they both found themselves whisked off to sleep very quickly, comfortable and warm, welcoming sweet dreams to take over.


End file.
